Struggle with Small Talk? Try the P.E.C. Method
Walking into a room full of strangers can feel uncomfortable.
Whether it’s a networking event, corporate dinner, conference, or client meeting, we’ve all had that moment where we sit down, look around the table, and realise we’re about to spend the next hour making conversation with people we’ve never met.
For many people, that’s intimidating.
But after years of hosting events, performing for audiences, and attending corporate functions, I’ve found one simple framework that makes starting conversations much easier.
I call it P.E.C.
It’s one of the simplest communication techniques I know for breaking the ice and building genuine connection.
P: Positivity
People naturally enjoy talking about positive experiences.
Instead of opening with predictable questions like:
“What do you do?”
Try asking something more engaging.
For example:
- What’s been the best part of your week?
- What’s been your highlight this month?
- What’s something you’re looking forward to?
Once they’ve answered, don’t move on too quickly.
Follow up with:
- “Tell me more.”
- “What made that such a highlight?”
- “Why was that so enjoyable?”
People appreciate being given space to talk about things they genuinely enjoy.
And you’ll immediately have a more interesting conversation.
E: Expert
Everyone enjoys feeling knowledgeable.
So let them be the expert.
Ask questions like:
- “I don’t know much about your industry. What’s something people usually misunderstand about it?”
- “What’s the biggest misconception about what you do?”
- “What’s changed most in your industry recently?”
These questions achieve two things.
First, people enjoy sharing what they know.
Second, you’ll probably learn something genuinely interesting.
Curiosity is one of the fastest ways to build connection.
C: Compliment
A genuine compliment immediately lowers barriers.
The key word is genuine.
Notice something real.
Perhaps it’s:
- “That’s a great watch. Is there a story behind it?”
- “You seem to know everyone here. Have you been coming to these events for years?”
- “You gave a really interesting point during the meeting. How did you get into that?”
The compliment is simply the doorway.
The question keeps the conversation flowing.
Why the P.E.C. Method Works
The P.E.C. method works because it focuses on the other person.
Too often, we worry about saying the right thing.
Instead, focus on helping someone else enjoy the conversation.
Positivity creates good emotions.
Expertise makes people feel valued.
Compliments help people feel seen.
Those three ingredients naturally lead to stronger conversations.
Stop Worrying About Being Interesting
One of the biggest myths about communication is that you need to be fascinating.
You don’t.
The people we enjoy talking to are usually the people who make us feel interesting.
They ask thoughtful questions.
They’re curious.
They listen.
Great communicators don’t dominate conversations.
They encourage them.
Where You Can Use the P.E.C. Method
This simple framework works almost anywhere:
- Networking events
- Business conferences
- Corporate dinners
- Team away days
- Client meetings
- Awards ceremonies
- Industry events
- Social gatherings
The more you use it, the more natural it becomes.
The Key Takeaway
If small talk feels awkward…
Don’t overthink it.
Just remember:
P.E.C.
Positivity.
Expert.
Compliment.
Three simple conversation starters that help turn strangers into genuine connections.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I start a conversation with someone I don’t know?
Ask a positive question, show genuine curiosity, or offer a sincere compliment followed by an open-ended question.
What are good networking conversation starters?
Questions about recent highlights, industry insights, or positive experiences tend to create more engaging conversations than simply asking, “What do you do?”
How can I improve my communication skills?
Focus on asking better questions, listening actively, showing curiosity, and helping the other person feel comfortable.
Why is curiosity important in communication?
Curiosity encourages people to open up, builds trust, and creates stronger personal and professional relationships.
How do I stop small talk feeling awkward?
Shift your focus away from yourself and towards the other person. Simple frameworks like the P.E.C. method make conversations feel more natural and enjoyable.
What are the best communication skills for networking?
Listening, asking thoughtful questions, remembering names, showing genuine interest, and making people feel valued are some of the most effective networking skills.
Looking for a Keynote Speaker on Communication and Human Connection?
I work with businesses, leadership teams, and conference audiences across the UK helping people build stronger communication skills, create meaningful connections, and become more confident communicators.
Because great conversations don’t happen by accident.
They start with curiosity.